Getting There
by made4drama
Summary: I'm not perfectly fine, and I probably never will be, but I'm trying, and I think I'm getting there." But when tragedy strikes and the only way to save her life is to end it in England, Susan is given another chance at happiness with Caspian.
1. Chapter 1

"I wish we had more time together." Caspian whispered into my ear as we embraced in our goodbyes. I pulled my head off of his shoulder and pulled away from him before speaking again.

"It never would have worked between us." I logically spoke, my heart screaming at me to ignore logic for once in my life. "I am thirteen hundred years older than you." I attempt to joke, as I begin to move away from Caspian and towards my brothers and sister. Before I reach them, I turn to look at him one last time. If only we had more time... I thought, before I gave up on logic and followed my heart. I ran to him, his arms automatically reaching out for me as I captured his lips in our first and only kiss. It was simple yet passionate, sweet yet deep, chaste yet exploring.

It was all this, wrapped into one perfect first kiss and I knew. I knew that once I left his arms my heart would never be whole again. My heart would never be whole again because I was leaving him, never to return again, and with him, I was leaving my heart.

"I love you." I whisperdly choked as I pulled away from him and joined my siblings. The four of us took one last look around, my eyes catching Caspian's as I saw the love and deep longing filling his eyes. Our gazes conveyed our very souls to each other and I knew I'd never again love. _I love you_ I saw in his eyes, and I had to turn with my siblings before I broke down and sobbed. Together, we stepped through the portal, and once again we were at the train station, the train only just having arrived.

"Aren't you coming Phillis?" I heard someone ask, and it took me a moment to remember the lie I'd told to the annoying boy over a month ago. My siblings and I grabbed our things and boarded quickly. I found four seats together, and placed my things under the one I'd claimed as my own. I gazed stoically out the window, thinking of Caspian and what he was doing right now. How much time had passed in Narnia in these few minutes? I was pulled from my musings as Edmund pushed my arm, signifying that we'd arrived.

I spoke not a word as we left the underground and called a taxi. I spoke our destination, and then went back into my thoughts. It wasn't until later that I'd allow myself to cry. Not until I'm alone in my bed at school. The moment we arrived at school, the four of us separated to find our dorms. The moment I found mine, I quietly placed my luggage under the bed, and lay down upon it. Finally, alone in my room, I allowed myself to cry. I wouldn't allow myself to make any noise, a technique I'd perfected years before first going to Narnia. For what seemed like hours but was truly only minutes, I cried. When my roommate entered the room I feigned sleep, and successfully kept her unaware to my sobbing and heartache. Hours later, I finally stopped crying, but only because I no longer was conscious.


	2. Chapter 2

"Ms. Pevensie!" The sharp voice of my Trigonometry Professor broke through my reverie and brought me back to reality. I glanced around, my classmates staring curiously at me, wondering what the world was coming to when Susan Pevensie wasn't paying attention in class. I looked to my professor, and raised my eyebrows at her in a silently rebellious act that made her face change from annoyance to anger. "I asked you to solve the problem on the board, however since you obviously have not been paying attention, it couldn't be possible for you to solve-"

"Twenty-seven and four-eleventh's, Professor." I answered her after quickly configuring the problem within my mind, a type of mathematical theory similar to one I'd learned ages ago in Narnia. The bell rang, and I calmly collected my things, ignoring the incredulous gazes of my peers and Professor.

Not another history class. How could England's boring history of war with France ever compare to that of Narnia's? It couldn't, I already knew. I could only thank God and Aslan that I didn't confuse the two like Lucy and Edmund tended to do.

As I took my seat and waited for yet another boring and pointless lecture to begin, I looked out the window to the blue sky, speckled with odd shaped, white, storm less clouds, a rarity in England to be sure. Staring up into the sky, I remembered lying with Caspian and Lucy on a lush bed of grass, as the three of us played a game I hadn't played in years.

My heart shattered a little more as I remembered the day spent with my little sister and the only man I'd ever love. A day that would never again be repeated, no matter how much I wanted or needed it to.

I fought desperately to keep the tears from my eyes as I focused on my Professor and the lecture he was giving, shoving my memories of Caspian to the side of my mind in a futile attempt to forget, at least for the moment.

The moment the bell rang, I grabbed my bag and made my way to the gardens. It was only there, sitting upon a cracking bench surrounded by over-growth in a forgotten part of the large garden outside of our school that I allowed myself to cry once more. I buried my face in my hands, and sobbed, my mind replaying moments with Caspian, moment's, I thought, that I'd never again have. A warm hand began to rub circles upon my back, and I only sobbed harder. The hand gave up, and I felt myself pulled into a tight hug. The scent of pine and books met my nostrils as I recognized my brother Peter was the one comforting me.

I was reduced to hiccups as my sobbing subsided to red eyes and a blotchy face.

"Here." Peter spoke, handing me a bottle of water to chase the hiccups away.

"Thank you." I said, both in reference to the water and for comforting me. I took several gulps of water, before holding my breath for thirty seconds.

"Are you alright?" His concerned voice asked me. I looked up into his eyes, worry evident within them.

"I just miss it all so much, and knowing that I can never go back? I can hardly stand it."

"Knowing you'll never go back to Narnia, or never going back to Caspian?" He prompted me.

"Both, more so Caspian though..." I answered honestly. "I know that we'll never go back, I need to stop crying over it and accept that. I'm not perfectly fine, and I probably never will be, but I'm trying and I think I'm getting there."


	3. Chapter 3

'It's been five months to the day since I last saw her breathtaking face' I thought to myself as I continued to gaze upon the last place I'd seen her. Why? Why did I have to fall in love with her only to have her taken from me? Why couldn't Aslan have allowed her to stay? If only I weren't the King. I wish I could be with her, even in her world. If it weren't up to me to restore peace to Narnia...

Even though it is up to me to restore the peace in Narnia, I nearly went through the portal after her. To this day I don't know what it is that kept my feet firmly planted to the ground and away from my love.

Oh how I miss her. Her sweet smile and soft lips. Her inquisitive and knowing eyes. We'd only known each other a month, but I felt she knew me better than any other could or ever will. In our last moments together, it was like I could see into her very soul, and she mine.

I stood from my seat on the stone steps and quickly retired for my bedchambers, anxious to get there without meeting anyone. I felt so exhausted and meeting someone would only delay my rest. A sigh of relief escapes me as I entered my room uninterrupted. The moment my head reaches the pillows I am asleep. Asleep and once again dreaming about her.

I can sense her presence near me, and as I open my eyes I search for her. However, a great shock greats me upon opening them. There are odd contraptions moving about and people rushing in a hurry to get somewhere. The place is dirty and everything is so strange.

Where am I? A loud, strange noise is coming from one of the odd contraptions and I jump out of the way lest it hit me. I begin to search for Susan, I know she is near, I can feel her. My eyes take in all the strange sights, my ears the odd noises, my nose the terrible stench. Suddenly, I hear my Susan's voice.

"PETER!" I turn around to see where she is, and to my horror High King Peter is in a fight with a group of three boys who appear to be winning. I begin to hurry over to help the four siblings. I watched in satisfaction as Edmund and Susan begin to pull a boy each, they appear to have things under control. However, that control is quickly gone as I see the boy shove of Edmund and the two push Susan. I watch on as Susan is roughly shoved into the street, my feet suddenly unable to move. She is shoved into the street, and suddenly one of those odd contraptions is screaming again. The screaming odd contraption hits her, sending Susan flying through the air and landing on her head on the sidewalk.

"SUSAN!" I scream as I bolt up in bed. Taking in my surroundings, I wonder what in the world is going on. What had happened? Was that real or just my imagination? Did Susan really get hurt? And what was that thing that hit her? I stand from my bed, noting that it is already morning. I'd slept through dinner and on through the whole night.


	4. Chapter 4

Tears fell silently from my eyes, my heart clenching painfully. It had been nearly three weeks since we'd left Narnia. Eighteen days since I'd last seen his wonderful face, felt his lips upon my own. How much time had passed for him? Has he already forgotten me, moved on with another woman? I wiped angrily at my tears, wishing them away.

"Susan? May I come in?" I heard my younger sister Lucy call.

"Yes." I answered her and the door quickly opened. I didn't move an inch, not even to face her. She came around my bed, and sat down next to me.

"Susan. What's wrong?" She implored. I sighed, wondering how on earth I was supposed to answer this. I couldn't think of the words to explain, I just let the tears fall. "It's Caspian, isn't it?" I could do no more than nod as the sobs once again racked my body. After a while, I dried my tears and sat up. "I just... I left my heart with him, and I don't think I'll ever get it back." After a moment's silence, I spoke again.

"It's Saturday isn't it?" I asked.

"Yeah, I was coming to get you. It's a decent day outside. Maybe we should go to the park?"

"I'd like that." I said as I finished changing and slipped on my shoes. I grabbed a sweater and we were off. It was slightly chilly, but that became refreshing the longer the four of us walked.

We spent the whole day at the park, playing on a forgotten swing set miles away from the new one. It was a day filled with fun, but even as I laughed along with my siblings, I couldn't help but silently beg Aslan for Caspian to be here with me.

It was getting late, and we were heading back towards the school when it happened. A boy and two of his friends started something with Peter and before I knew it, Peter was attempting to fight all three at once.

"PETER!" I screamed as I threw myself at the boys, grabbing hold of one of them and attempting to pull him off of my brother, Edmund doing the same to another. One moment, I'm trying to stop a fight, and the next thing I knew, I was flying through the air in extreme pain. The last thing I remembered was an exquisite pair of chocolate eyes and a Talmaranian accent screaming my name, and then everything went peacefully black.

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"Oh, shit. Let's get out of here boys!" One of the three said, but I paid them no mind.

"Susan!" I shouted, running over to her. I checked for a pulse, there was one but it was weak. "Edmund, call a cab, Lucy, run back to school and tell them what's happened. Tell them Ed and I are taking Susan to St. James' and get a hold of mum and dad." I spoke rapidly as I picked up the small body of my younger sister.

They did as told, Lucy running hurriedly towards school and Ed easily hailing a taxi. He climbed in and helped me get Susan into the car.

"St. James'!" Edmund yelled at the driver the moment the door was closed. Within five minutes we arrived at the hospital and Susan was taken out of our hands.

Nearly two hours later, Lucy rushed in with mum and dad.

"What's happening? How is she?" Mum asked the moment she saw me.

"I don't know. They've not come out yet."

"How did this happen?" My father demanded.

"It's my fault, dad. I'm so sorry. Three boys in my class have been trying to start something for the past month. Today when we were walking back to school, they ambushed me three to one. Susan and Edmund rushed in to try and stop the fight, Edmund went down and they both pushed Susan into the street where a car hit her. I'm so, so sorry dad." I said, trying my hardest to hold back my tears. She'd survived two wars; surely this was a piece of cake for her?

"Mr. Pevensie?" We all looked up, eager to hear good news about Susan.

"Yes?" My father answered.

"The accident caused Ms. Pevensie some serious internal hemorrhaging and multiple breaks and fractures to her left side. We were able to stop the bleeding, and we have set the bones. However, the most damage done to her body was to her head. She has slipped into a coma. With the amount of damage done to her brain, she may never wake. In comatose patients, it helps if they have something to come back to, so you may visit just about whenever you'd like."

I stormed away from the group, angry with myself for letting this happen to her. I vaguely noted Lucy and Edmund following me, but I didn't care. I didn't stop until I reached the stairwell, where I sat down on the steps and allowed myself to cry. "She won't come back for us." I said once I'd finished crying.

"She won't come back for us. Lucy, Ed, you have to go to Narnia and get help."

"But how?" Edmund questioned.

"Just talk to Aslan in your heads, he'll show you the way. He has to, it's Susan."


	5. Chapter 5

I was staring at the tree that had become the archway to take my love from me when suddenly, it became the portal again and Queen Lucy and King Edmund came running through.

"Queen Lucy! King Edmund! What is the matter? What's happened?" I questioned, running to them.

"It's Susan! We have to find Aslan!" Lucy cried helplessly.

"Susan? What's happened to Susan?" My heart clenched painfully remembering my dream only hours before.

"There was an accident. She's hurt really badly, we need Aslan." Edmund answered.

"Did I hear someone mention my name?" The deep voice of Aslan filled our ears. Within moments, Aslan, Lucy, and Edmund had gone off to discuss this privately, and I could do nothing but sit and worry about my beloved.

A few minutes later, the three came back over to me to discuss the plan.

"King Caspian, you will go through the portal and bring Queen Susan back to Narnia. This is the only place her mind may heal. However, with Queen Susan being healed here, she cannot ever return to England. She must stay and live out her days in Narnia. To everyone in England, it will appear that the accident killed her. Is this truly alright with all of you?"

"Yes. I just want my sister to live. I don't care if it's here or in England." Edmund answered.

"Yes, me as well. Besides, accident or not, I don't think Susan could have survived much longer in England without you Caspian." Lucy spoke.

"It would be an honor to have Queen Susan here forever." I spoke, not only for my own selfish needs, but also because I knew the people of Narnia loved her, and they would readily accept her back.

"It is settled then. Through the portal." Aslan said as a portal appeared in the middle of the courtyard. Lucy went first, cordial in hand, followed by Edmund, and finally I stepped through.

Once through the portal, I noticed that it stayed open, probably so that I could go back through it. We were in the hospital, Susan lying pale and unmoving on a crisp white bed. We were alone in the room except for Peter, and I listened as Lucy told Peter what had happened, giving Susan a healing drop of her cordial which she then handed to me.

"You take good care of my little sister." Peter said to me as he embraced me and thanked me for saving her life. "Goodbye Susan." He whispered to her as he kissed her forehead one last time. Edmund and Lucy said their goodbyes as well, and finally I was able to pick her up to go home to Narnia. I stepped back through the portal, Susan's small body reverently carried in my arms. It was then that I knew how to wake her.

I pressed my lips gently to hers, and slowly, her eyes fluttered open. "Caspian. Am I dreaming?"

"No, my love. You are back in Narnia to stay." I said, as we moved to her bedchambers and I began to explain what all had transpired.

"Caspian?" She asked weakly as I finished, the information no doubt still sinking in.

"Yes Susan?"

"I'm so tired... Will you stay with me tonight?" She pleaded, her azure eyes showing the raw need within.

"Of course." I say, lying down next to her, my arm snaking around her waist, pulling her close to my side. As I lay there, I began to imagine what our lives together would be like. It was through the steady breathing of my beloved and happy thoughts of curly brown haired blue eyed children that I was finally lulled to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

I slowly opened my eyes, and when I did I received the shock of a lifetime. I was not in my dorm room, surrounded by anti-war and Beatles posters, and it took me a moment to realize just where I was. The comforting weight of King Caspian's arm wrapped around my middle was the next thing I noticed, and once I did, I instantly relaxed.

Sinking back into the luxurious bed and the comforting arms of Caspian, I reflected on all that he'd told me. Accident... Coma... Dead to my world...

If I could no longer go back to my world, then I had to remain in Narnia. I had to stay here, with Caspian. Here with the man I love, and not in a country that is still at war. The war here was over, and things will be peaceful.

I know what it is that I want from Caspian, but what does he want? I want to be his, and only his for the rest of our lives. I want to be his wife and have his children and grow old together. All I want... no, all I need is Caspian. But what if he doesn't want me? What if he decides I'm not the one he wants? What if he chooses some other girl? I'm not so sure I could live with that.

"Caspian." I breathe, turning over to face him, only to be startled to see his loving gaze starring down at me. "How long have you been awake?"

"A little while."

"Why didn't you wake me?" I inquired, resting my head against his chest.

"I didn't want to wake you." He said, as his hands went to my head and began massaging my scalp.

"Mhmmm..." I moaned, enjoying the delicious feeling of his hands running through my hair. "Caspian."

"Yes?"

"I think we need to talk." I said, remaining on his chest, his hands still working miracles in my hair.

"Alright. What about?"

"Well... Since I'm technically dead in England, I can't very well go back."

"No, you can't."

"I was thinking I might stay here, with you." I spoke cautiously, causing him to smile.

"I would love for you to stay here, with me. Susan, may I be honest with you?"

"Of course."

"Since you left, I felt a part of me had left. Like my heart was no longer my own, and I could never have it back. Susan, when you left, you took my heart with you. I love you Susan, and our separation nearly killed me. I never wish to be parted from you again." He declared, pulling me closer to him.

"Oh... Caspian." I breathe, feeling the sudden urge to kiss him. We meet half way and this time, it's even better than the first. This time, it was a kiss full of passion, love, and hope. After a few moments, the need for air became slightly more prominent, and we broke apart.

"Caspian, I think I wasn't going to wake from that coma because I'd lost my will to live. I was told I'd never return, and that meant I'd never see you again. I thought I could put it out of my mind, but I couldn't. I couldn't forget you, and I knew I couldn't be with you, so, I didn't want to live. I fell for you, in the short amount of time we had, I fell in love with you so hard it nearly killed me. Please, don't ever let me leave again. I don't think I'll make it the next time." I finish, fighting off the tears.

"Oh, Susan... There will never be a next time." He vowed, pulling me close as we both cried into each other. We both fell asleep next to each other, and when I finally awoke, it was midday.

The first thing I noticed was that Caspian was not there. The next thing I noticed was the maid that was coming over to the bed.

"Oh good, you're up. The king requests that I give you this, have a lovely day Queen Susan." She said, handing me a long box. Opening it, I gasped. Inside was the most spectacular midnight blue gown I'd ever seen. I quickly searched for a note, and soon found one.

_Dearest Susan,_

_I apologize for not being there when you awoke. I have prepared something special for you, and I hope you will wear this gown. It was made by the elves; the material is of the finest silk with diamond dust woven into it. I thought it would look lovely on you._

_Please meet with me in the courtyard at one o'clock. I'll be waiting._

_Yours,_

_Caspian X_

Looking to the clock, I realized I only had thirty minutes to get ready. I threw off my bedclothes -how did I even get these on?- and quickly slipped on the dress. It fit perfectly, and was the most comforting and flattering thing I'd ever worn in my entire life. Looking at myself in the mirror, I realized that it truly was like the night sky. The blue so dark it looked like midnight, and the diamond dust sparkled like stars.

I decided that any jewelry would only take away form the dress, so I opted not to wear any. I quickly sat down at my vanity, and applied subtle makeup. A little eye shadow and mascara to complete my eyes in a natural yet smoky way and a bit of rose pink lipstick to complete my look. I decided to leave my hair down, so after a quick squirt of perfume I was ready to go. Before I left my room I slipped on some dark ballet flats, and I quickly hurried out to the courtyard.

Upon arriving I took note of the courtyard clock, I was five minutes early.

"You're early." I hear Caspian say behind me.

"So are you." I retorted as I turned to face him. The second I face him, he gasps and it takes him a moment to collect his thoughts.

"You look stunning. I new my mother's gown would be perfect for you." He said, pulling me to him for a quick kiss.

"Your mother's? Caspian, I... Thank you." I said honored that he'd let me have something that was obviously special to him.

"Come." He said, mounting himself on his horse and offering me a hand up. "I want to show you something." With that we were off. My arms went instinctively around his waist, both to keep myself on the horse and also just to enjoy having him in my arms. After a few moments of riding through the woods, we came to a stop. He dismounted and helped me do the same before he tied the horse up to a tree and rummaged in the saddlebags for something. It was a bag and a pick nick basket.

"Come on." He said, pulling my hand and leading me in a childish manner. "It's just through here." He said as he pushed through some thick overgrowth and I followed him.

I gasped as I looked around. There was a pool of crystal blue water being fed by a magnificent waterfall. We were standing in a small clearing with small violets filling in patches here and there. Caspian let go of my hand, and walked over to a patch of grass. He set the basket down and reached into the bag for something. Finally finding it, I realized it was a blanket.

I smiled warmly and made my way over to him to help him set up. "Caspian, thank you. I've always loved pick nicks." I said as I helped spread the blanket. We both sat down and Caspian pulled the basket over and began to take out the food.

"What is this place?" I questioned, enjoying the dappled sun on my face, the wonderful food, and the light breeze floating about the two of us.

"Just a clearing my parents used to take me to when I was younger. We all used to go swimming in the pool over there after a nice pick nick. My mother found it years ago, before she'd even met my father." He said, taking his last bite of chocolate cake. I smiled, and finished of my side of our split dessert.

"Caspian, thank you. For sharing this with me I mean. This place, and this dress, they are obviously so important to you, I am honored that you're allowing me to see them." I said, pure conviction in my eyes and voice. The sudden urge to kiss him overcame me, and I would have too, if not for him beginning to talk again.

"I want to share this with you Susan, I want to share everything with you. Susan, I nearly died when you left, I couldn't bear to loose you again. When you were gone, it only made me realize just how much I care for you. I love you, Susan. I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you." He said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small velvet box. "You're the only one for me Susan, I knew the moment I met you," He went on, opening up the box. "That no one else could ever even contemplate comparing with you. Will you fulfill my hopes and make me the happiest man alive? Will you marry me Susan Elizabeth Pevensie?" He finished.

Not once throughout his speech did I glance down at the ring, and now that it was open, and he was done speaking, I gazed down at the ring. I could do nothing but stare it was so beautiful. Here he was, the only man I would or could ever love, proposing to me in the most beautiful place I had ever been, and I couldn't form a single word. All I could do was nod.

"Is that a yes?" He asked, all the while knowing it was, as he pulled me into a hug. Deciding that the hug was not enough for me, I captured his lips in what became our fourth kiss.

"I love you Caspian." I breath, breathless after a mind-blowing kiss.

"I love you too Susan." He whispers, retrieving the ring from its box and sliding it onto my finger. "I'll always love you." He said as he pulled me back in for yet another kiss. My hands travel down his back and slip under his shirt, my fingers tracing invisible lines upon his back. His hand slip down my own back and then begins to unbutton the few buttons on the back of my dress. Free of the fabric, his rough, strong hands begin to trail up and down my own exposed spine.

My fingers continue to explore but the fabric is in the way. I break our kiss and pull his shirt off, and begin to kiss my way down his chest. I can't stop myself, I know that I want to wait, but oh God, I can't stop.

"Wait!" Caspian says. We stop, and I'm finally able to come to my senses. "Susan, I love you, and I want to be the only one for you. God, I really want this, it's so hard..."

"Caspian," I say, waiting for him to look up at me, once he does I continue. "I'm glad you stopped me. I wanted to stop, but I couldn't. Caspian, I want to be with you, I really do. I couldn't stop myself that's how badly I want it. But, I want to wait. I want to wait until we're married before we do this. I know it may seem old fashioned or whatever but I..." I rambled as we righted our clothing.

"Wanted to wait?"

"Yes." I said, looking down in embarrassment from my annoying rambling, a problem that several specialists have tried to right but never could.

"Well, so do I." He said, pushing my chin up with his index finger.

"I love you." I spoke, the words sounding so right and yet not nearly passionate enough to convey my true feelings.

"And I love you." He spoke


	7. Chapter 7

"Aslan!" I shouted, running to catch up with him. It was two days later, and Caspian and I hadn't told anyone yet. "Aslan, I wanted to ask you something." I said once I finally caught up with the great lion.

"Yes Susan?"

"Well, Caspian asked me to marry him, and I've accepted." I begin.

"That's wonderful news."

"Yes, well, ever since I was little, I've dreamed about my wedding day. I always dreamt of my father giving me away, and I know that is not possible. He believes me to be dead after all. I was wondering, if maybe you might allow Peter to give me away, and let the three of them come to Narnia for the wedding.'

"Well, I don't suppose why not, Peter is not coming to learn something, he's coming for the Wedding of the Century. I know how hard it is on you not to be able to see your siblings, so I do believe that would be fine."

"Oh thank you Aslan!" I said, throwing myself on him in the biggest hug I'd ever given. "Caspian and I were thinking maybe June fifteenth. At Cair Paravel. Do you think that would be fine?"

"Of course."

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It had been three days since Susan's 'death'. I couldn't help but wonder what my little sister was up to, how much time had passed? The wake had just ended; my mother and father were taking us all home. The three of us had been excused from the last week of school, but I knew we'd rather be at school than here with our grieving parents. While it was sad that we'd never see Susan again, we all knew she was better of in Narnia.

Thankfully, we were home, and the three of us could escape our parent's presence. I escaped up to my own room, Lucy and Edmund doing the same. We'd only been home a few minutes before my mother was calling us downstairs again.

"Sit down children. Your father and I have something to discuss with you." My mother spoke softly, tears drying on her cheeks and leaving angry red blotches over her face and in her eyes.

"I have been called back for another tour." Our father began. "This time for a year. Your mother has enlisted in the volunteer hospital for soldiers. We have spoken to Professor Kirke, and he has agreed to let the three of you stay with him over the summer once more. We have arranged for you to leave tomorrow afternoon from Kings Station. I expect you to be packed and ready by eleven o'clock." He finished.

"Very well then." I began, standing to give my parents a hug goodnight. "I shall go begin to pack. Goodnight mother, father." I said diplomatically as I began to head for my room.

It took only a few minutes for me to pack, the majority of my things still packed from school. Once done, I decided that I was far to exhausted to do anything else, so I lay down and was asleep the moment my body hit the bed.

The next morning, I woke and it was already ten thirty. I hurriedly brushed my teeth and combed my hair before dressing for the day and slipping my pajamas into my trunk. I was passing Susan's room, when something stopped me and made me go inside of it. Once in her room, I looked around for a moment before my eyes landed on a few books that were on her nightstand. I picked the smallest of them up, and realized it was her diary. Not wanting to intrude on my sister's privacy, even though she'd never know, I went onto the next one. A very worn copy of 'Pride and Prejudice', her favorite book. Finally, looking at the last, I realized it wasn't a book at all but rather a picture album. I don't know what made me store the books and album into my trunk, but I did. Once I had shut my trunk for the second time that morning, I headed downstairs, just in time to leave.

The five of us arrive at the train station, four of us carrying luggage. We were to see our father off first, and then head on for our own that departed only ten minutes later. We bid our father farewell, Lucy and mum crying openly, and Edmund and myself with slightly misty eyes. Who knew if this would be the last time any of us saw our father. I could only imagine what my mother must be going through. We only just lost Susan a few days ago, and while she wasn't really dead, my mother didn't know that. Know she might be loosing her husband as well.

"Goodbye dad." I said embracing him in what could be the last. I stepped back to allow Lucy and Edmund their turn. Once my father had said his goodbyes to Lucy and Edmund, he looked around for Susan before realizing that she wasn't there. That she'd never be there, and I watched my father attempt to maintain his composer as he said his last goodbyes to mom.

I watched as he boarded the train and my heart broke as I saw the tears that had been threatening to fall begin to descend down his face. We watched the train pull away, before having to run to our terminal. We made it with just enough time to say goodbye to mother before quickly boarding our own train. Lucy leaned out a window to wave goodbye as Edmund and I waved from our seats.

It had only been an hour, but the ride was already boring me to tears. We had another hour to go before the switch, and after that we had three more hours of riding before we reached our destination. I reached into my trunk and pulled out the photo album I'd taken from Susan's room. As I began to flip through the photo album, my eyes began to moisten at the thought of never again seeing Susan. Lucy and Edmund might, but Aslan had said that I would never again return. But then again, he had also said that for Susan, and look where she is now.

"What are you doing?" I heard Lucy ask as she came and sat down on the bench next to me.

"Just looking at this photo album I found, here." I said as I flipped back a few pages to the beginning so she could see the whole thing.

"Hey, I want to see." I heard Edmund say as he sat down on my opposite side. Our eyes gazed down at the first few pictures in the album. The very top one on the first page showed Susan not three hours old, and I, a small two-year old, holding her awkwardly but lovingly, sitting next to father who kept a steady hand close by should I accidently drop her. The next page depicted a few of my third birthday and another few of Susan's first birthday. The next picture showed Susan and I holding a newborn Edmund, both of us grinning like fools.

Skipping a few pages we saw a picture of Susan, Edmund, and I all with baby Lucy. The next few pages showed things like birthdays and firsts for all of us. My first day of school. Susan's first bicycle lesson, Edmund's first steps, and Lucy's first tooth, among other things.

We were halfway though the album and laughing our heads off at funny memories the pictures evoked in us.

"She was so mad at me!" Edmund recalled, as we gazed at a picture of Susan, who was drenched head to toe in soda.

The next was of Susan only. She was reading a worn book and sitting casually on a wooden swing at Professor Kirke's manor. The day was a bright, sunny day. It could only have been taken hours before we went to Narnia the first time. As I continued to stare at the picture, I couldn't imagine how this had come to be. It was just the four of us outside together, and no one had a camera. On second thought, there were a few other pictures that I couldn't figure out how they came to be as well.

Flipping to the next page, the three of us are shocked at what we see. Throughout the next seven pages, there are pictures of the four of us and others we'd met the first time in Narnia. Pictures depicting triumphs and defeats, happy times and depressing times. Our coronation was there, as was pictures showing different scenes in which suitors came to call on Susan or Lucy, every last one of them failing miserably at catching their attention, let alone their affection.

There were a few pictures of mom, dad, and the four of us after we'd first returned from Narnia and dad had returned from the war. Then, there were pictures of the second trip to Narnia. One showing all four of us splashing each other in the shallows of the ocean moments after we'd returned. The next of Lucy and her DLF. The next picture was of the Narnian army. The four of us were in it, as was Caspian. Looking at the picture, I can't believe I missed the obvious attraction between my younger sister and the Telmerainian prince. They were gazing at each other in unabashed adoration, it was right after Caspian had first brought us to the Stone Table.

There were more pictures, but we continued on. The next one that made me stop made my heart clench painfully for my sister. It was the day we left Narnia, and the look on her face as she gazed at Caspian one last time before putting on a brave face and facing us was one of complete and utter helplessness. Helplessness and heartache was apparent on both Susan's and Caspian's faces, and -judging by Susan's face in the picture- it was a wonder Susan hadn't gone mental with grief upon returning.

The horn of the train startled us, and we had to put the album away and quickly get off, lest we miss the other train. Once back on the next train, the photo album was once again pulled out, and we flicked through to the last page we'd been on before continuing on.

There was only a page of pictures in the time that we'd been back in England since our second trip to Narnia. In every picture of Susan, she was laughing and smiling with the rest of us, but her eyes. Her eyes did not hold the sparkle that they once did the smile never reached them. She was never truly happy in England.

Even before the first time we'd ever been to Narnia, Susan had told me she didn't belong in England. She had said that she simply felt her place was elsewhere, and here she felt awkward and out of place. Those feelings only amplified both times we came back from Narnia, and it's no wonder she couldn't wake from the coma. She didn't have anything to come back to.

"I'm glad she's finally happy." Lucy said. "Can't you tell how much pain she was in? She tried to hide it, but I caught her crying in empty classrooms and dark corners of the library. She told me once that it was like she couldn't breathe without him." She finished, looking sadly at a shot of Susan 'studying' by herself during a lunch break.

Suddenly, the train picked up speed. Things were flying everywhere, and the three of us fought to keep together.

"HOLD ON!" I yelled as we all hit the floor the force of the wind was so strong. After what felt like ages, the wind stopped. When we were able to sit up, we looked around and shock overcame our features. We were no longer on the train to Professor Kirke's, but we were once again in Narnia.

"Peter! Edmund! Lucy!" We heard a voice calling our names. I turned, and the next thing I knew, I was on the ground with an overly exited younger sister pinning me to the floor in a huge hug. Edmund and Lucy piled on, and it was once again a Famous Pevensie Pile.

"I've missed you!" Susan exclaimed as we all sat up and looked around. We were at Cair Paravel, on the beach once more. However, instead of the ruins that had been our palace the last time we'd been here, it had been magically restored to it's former glory.

"What's going on?" I asked, coming to my senses. "I was told I'd never come back here."

"Well, I asked Aslan if you could come here, and he said you could. And, you're even allowed to stay for a while!"

"But why would Aslan allow us to come here just because you asked?" Edmund voiced the question that was undoubtedly floating throughout our minds.

"Because, Caspian and I are getting married." She said, holding her hand out to me to show off her elegant engagement ring.

"Peter, you know that if I could have, I would have dad giving me away, but seeing as he thinks I'm dead and all, I was wondering... Well, I was wondering if you'd give me away at my wedding?" She implored, her eyes gazing pleadingly into my own.

"Of course I will I wouldn't have it any other way." I said as we embraced once again. "So, how much time has passed in Narnia?"

"Oh, not long, only a few months. When you left last it was the beginning of March, and it's just now the tenth of June." Susan answered me as the four of us began walking -luggage in tow- to the palace.


	8. Chapter 8

It was my wedding day. It was June fifteenth, and practically all of Narnia had come to see Queen Susan the Gentle wed King Caspian the Tenth. Any normal person would be out of their minds with nerves, but I was surprisingly calm. I trusted Caspian with both my life and my heart, and I knew I had nothing to fear.

My sister and some maids were rushing around, getting last minute nothings out of the way, freaking out over the slightest little thing. It was nearly four, and I hadn't seen Caspian all day. Lucy was adamant about that little superstition, and I couldn't wait to see him. The wedding was to start in fifteen minutes, and I just sat there, gazing upon the photo album my brother had given me as a wedding present.

Clad in only my undergarments and shoes, I had yet to put on the gown. My hair was already finished, curled beautifully with diamonds pined into random spots in the back, my crown replacing the normal veil, and my make up -however slight- was also finished. I even had on my jewelry, a simple pair of diamond stud earrings and a gold necklace. I just sat there in the room adjacent to the chapel on a red velvet chair, and gazed upon my photo album. So much had changed since that fateful trip nearly six months ago.

God, is that all it's been? Only six months that I've known Caspian? It's been such a short time, but I know there is no one else for me. No one else could ever compare to my King, no matter how hard they tried.

"SUSAN!" Came the shriek of my little sister. "You're not in your dress! The wedding starts in five minutes!" She exclaimed as she and another woman rushed to get the gown off of the hanger. They helped me step into the dress and then they set to work on buttoning up the satin buttons. As I gazed at myself in the mirror, I thought of what a long way I'd come. From a scared, shy, yet completely logical and level headed young girl to a cool, collected, elegant, and slightly less uptight woman. Before my eyes was no longer the childish girl I'd once been, no I hadn't been that girl in quite some time.

"You look perfect." Lucy breathed, she was right, I did. The gown was somehow simple yet extravagant at the same time. It was strapless snow white satin with a tight bodice and a wide skirt. The bottom of the dress was gathered in random places from my hips to my feet, pinned with small diamonds.

"So, you have your something old." She said, pointing to my Crown. "Your something new." She said, pointing to the simple gold necklace that Caspian had left for me this morning. "Your something borrowed." She said, pointing to the earrings that had been borrowed from the royal treasury. "And your something blue." She said, as I blushed knowing the only one to see my something blue would be Caspian.

"Come on Susan." Lucy said as we all went out into the hall.

The music began and Lucy and Edmund were off. Lucy being my maid of honor and Edmund Caspian's best man. Following them was a small boy of six named Brayden walking with the pillow that held our rings. Next was Laura, the four year old sister of Brayden -their parents were close friends of both Caspian and myself here in Narnia- as she walked down the isle, scattering petals throughout the white carpet. Finally, it was my turn. Before Peter and I walked out, he pulled me to him in a quick hug and whispered something so softly I nearly didn't hear it.

"I'm so proud of you little sis." And with that we entered. Every head turned to face me, but I didn't notice. Standing at the end of what felt like the longest walk way was my Caspian. His mouth was slightly open, and I couldn't help but smile as I thought the reason everyone turned to face the bride was so that the groom could gape without being noticed. I smiled at him, and soon enough I was standing next to him, my brother placing the hand of mine he held into Caspian's as Aslan asked who gave me to him.

"I, High King Peter the Magnificent, give Queen Susan the Gentle to King Caspian the Tenth." He said regally. I smiled at my brother before turning to face Caspian and Aslan.

"Do you, King Caspian the Tenth, promise to love, honor, and cherish Queen Susan the Gentle in sickness and in health, in good times and the bad, so long as you both shall live?"

"I do." He spoke with such conviction in both his voice and his eyes that I nearly lost all composers as he slipped the wedding band onto my finger in front of my engagement ring.

"And do you, Queen Susan the Gentle, promise to love, honor, and cherish King Caspian the Tenth in sickness and in health, in good times and the bad, so long as you both shall live?"

"I do." I speak as I place his wedding band on his finger, cursing myself for my almost breaking voice and shaking hands that were steadied by his, suddenly thankful that we hadn't written vows for each other, for I knew that if we had, I wouldn't have been able to keep from crying, I'd nearly lost my composure already.

"By the power vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Caspian, you may kiss your bride." Aslan said, as Caspian pulled me to him and we shared our first kiss as husband and wife.


	9. Chapter 9

It had been two months since our wedding, and Susan's siblings were still here. Not that I was complaining, if anything, I was incredibly grateful for them still being here.

Two months had gone by perfectly. The first week was spent on our honeymoon, uninterrupted, on a small island a few miles from Cair Paravel. After that, the three Pevensie siblings and Susan and I began to work on restoring even more of Narnia. Substantial progress had been made, and Lucy had said it was almost exactly as it had been back when they had first been here.

However, good things never last, and I found myself immensely grateful for them remaining here. Rumors of a group of Talmarainians still faithful to my uncle came to us from the North. The group was growing in size, and they threatened to destroy all we'd built. Believing they could raise my uncle with the help of the White Witch, they resurrected her, and now the White Witch was back, gaining power and strength far quicker than we could have imagined. Apparently, this all began months ago, back when Miraz had been killed. However, none of this had been proven, it was all just rumors. High King Peter, King Edmund, Queen Lucy, Susan, and I were all in court with counselors and diplomats trying to figure out what we could do.

"Edmund, Caspian, and I could ride to the North and discover if what they say is true. By these charts it would be a two-day's ride. We could get there and back without being detected, and we could find out the truth." He spoke, thinking logically.

"Why can't I come?" My wife asked from beside me.

"And me as well?" Lucy asked, upset that she and Susan had been left out. "It's not like we haven't been on adventures before." Lucy finished.

"Susan, you're ill. Don't try denying it, I know you better than that. You would only slow us down and you know it." Peter reasoned, and I quickly seconded him.

"Oh come off it Peter. I'd hardly call a small stomach bug that I haven't had since yesterday ill."

"Susan, you couldn't keep a thing down yesterday, you've had a fever, and forgive me for saying this sis, but you don't look so great today." Edmund retorted.

It was true. The past few days Susan had been ill, blaming it on the weather and waving off any medical help I tried to get her to seek.

"Fine. But don't think I'm happy with this." She pouted.

"So it's settled then. In the morning, Edmund, Caspian, Lucy, and I will head for the North. We should be back within four days. Tell the servants to ready our horses for the journey."

"What's wrong Susan?" I asked once we were alone in our private bedchamber.

"It's just, this is the first time I've not been able to come along. Even Lucy gets to go! And the only thing keeping me back is because you lot think I'm ill when I'm perfectly fine!" She exclaimed turning from angry to sad so quickly it nearly gave me whiplash.

"Susan, why don't we call a doctor, to see what's wrong. Love, you hardly kept anything down in the past week and you feel a bit warm. Please, love, let's call a doctor so that I might know you aren't dying before I leave." I joked and she laughed through her tears before nodding. I sent for the doctor, and within moments, he was there.

After a few tests, I was getting worried. What was wrong with my Susan? I could see the worry etched into my wife's face, so I kept mine calm and confident, but inside I was worried.

"Well..." The doctor said, beginning to put his things away. "Queen Susan, you are not dying, nor are you ill."

"I told you so!" She shot at me, and I smiled at her.

"Queen Susan, you're pregnant."

"What?" We both asked, praying we'd heard him correctly.

"In about seven months, you will have a child." The doctor told us, smiling. "Would you like to hear your child's heart beat?" He asked as he held out the stethoscope to me. I could only nod as the doctor placed the earpieces in my ear and the small disk upon Susan's stomach.

"I can hear it!" I exclaimed, hearing a small, yet healthy and steady heartbeat. The doctor put the stethoscope back into his bag, and bid us goodnight.

"A baby." I whispered, as I pulled Susan close to me and kissed her soundly.

"A baby." She repeated, placing my hand on her stomach. I gazed in wonder at her stomach, knowing that together, we had created a life. Inside of the love of my life, was a tiny piece of the both of us, and I couldn't wait to become a father.

"What should we call it?" She voiced as she lay back on the bed, pulling me with her. "I don't want to call him Caspian if it's a boy. Let's face it, ten in a row is a little boring." She teased me.

"Boring am I?" I asked as I leaned in to kiss her.

"No." She laughed, allowing me to kiss down her neck. I pulled her nightgown up past her stomach and began to kiss the baby. "Never boring." She whispered, bringing her hand down and caressing my face.

"I agree with you. Let someone else down the line be Caspian the Eleventh." I said, leaving her stomach and coming up to capture her lips.

"What about Richard?"

"No. Damian?"

"I don't know... What do you think of Landon?"

"Prince Landon though?"

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. What about Hector?"

"Prince Hector, I love it. What if it's a girl though?"

"Well, I don't know about you, but I've always loved the name Juliet."

"Juliet... not bad. You're just full of great names, if I didn't know any better I'd think you already knew about this and have already begun the planning." I joked as I leaned down to kiss her again.

"I love you Caspian." She spoke when we parted for air once more. "I can't believe it... A baby... Our baby." She whispered, her eyes glistening with unshed tears as she placed both of our hands on her flat stomach. She turned on her side and I pulled her to my chest, one hand placed protectively around her stomach and the other massaging her scalp.

"I love you." I whispered against the skin of her neck as I buried my face in the crook of her neck. "and I love you, Prince Hector or Princess Juliet." No more words were spoken between the two of us as we quickly fell asleep.

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"I'm going to miss you." I spoke, as we embraced and shared a quick kiss before their departure to the North.

"I shall miss both of you." Caspian said as he removed one arm from my back and placed his hand on my stomach. "How is it possible to love someone so much before they are even born?" He questioned.

"I don't know. It's a little scary. I can't even imagine how much I'll love her when she's born."

"I can't wait to teach him everything my father never taught me." I smiled, and leaned up for one last kiss. There was so much passion in that last searing kiss that it left me week in the knees and I had to stay clinging to Caspian for fear of my own legs not supporting my weight.

"Goodbye. I'll see you in a few days. Stay safe, and not just for me." I whispered, still embraced in his arms.

"I will. I'll be back as soon as I can." He said, breaking from my arms and mounting his horse.

"Goodbye Peter, Edmund, Lucy." I said, hugging each in turn. "Stay safe, all of you."

"We will. You worry to much Susan." Edmund said, and then they were all off. I stood and watched as they rode into the distance, still watching even after they'd disappeared.


	10. Chapter 10

It was the fourth day since they'd left, and I couldn't spend the rest of the day waiting until Caspian returned. I'd done nothing but lounge around the sweltering palace since they'd left, and I was going insane with boredom. Deciding that I needed to escape from the stifling heat of mid August, I changed into a summer dress and readied my horse and pack.

Within thirty minutes, I was off to the clearing that Caspian and I so loved to escape to. I relished in the cool breeze wafting through my thick hair as I urged my horse from a canter to a full gallop.

A plea of laughter escapes my lips as the horse heeds my wishes and breaks into the fastest gallop I'd ever ridden before. Directing the horse into the woods, I quickly found the seldom-used path and within fifteen minutes we were to the clearing. I tied my horse to a tree and found a cool, shaded spot to sit down at and enjoy a small snack.

I fed the apple to the horse, and left the orange and grapes to myself. Deciding that I'd had enough of a snack, I shed my summer dress down to my swimsuit and dove into the crystal clear pool. I gasped as my face emerged from the water, my body not yet adjusted to its cool temperature. Within moments, it was fine, and I began to simply float around.

It must have been hours later when I finally climbed out of the pool, my skin pruney and my stomach growling. Deciding I'd rather head straight back, they might be back by now, I quickly dried myself of with a towel and changed out of my wet swimsuit and into my dress. I put the towel and swimsuit into the pack and then placed the pack into a saddlebag before untying the horse and mounting her.

We had only just left the clearing when I saw them. There were at least seven of them, and I was unarmed. I urged my horse faster as arrows began flying at us. If I could only get out of the forest! I thought desperately.

However, fate had other plans as I felt an arrow pierce my shoulder. The pain erupted so suddenly I wasn't expecting it. The sudden shock threw me forward and I tumbled over the horse, my bleeding shoulder hitting the horse's side painfully and my head cracking on something hard before I lost all consciousness.

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"Your Highnesses!" A voice called as Peter, Edmund, Lucy, and I finally made it back to Cair Paravel.

"Hello Bandar." Peter said as he dismounted his horse and handed the reigns over to a stable boy. "Have you seen my sister? I believe she should be there for our report." He spoke diplomatically as the rest of us handed our horses over to other workers.

"High Queen Susan? She took off this morning for 'the spot' I think she called it. She said she'd be back around now, but if she wasn't she said you'd know what that meant King Caspian."

"Yes, I know exactly where that is. I suppose I should go find her then?" I asked as I went to retrieve my horse once more.

"Oh God!" Bandar's voice interrupted my actions as I spun to see what had happened. "That's the horse Queen Susan took!" He said, as my heart clenched painfully at the sight of a white horse galloping into the stables, my Susan nowhere in sight. I ran to it as it came into the stables, fear painfully clenching at my chest at the sight of it's bloodstained side.

"Alright, let's think." Edmund began white faced and voice shaking. "What could have happened?"

"It's the White Witch." Peter stated simply, tears still streaming down my face. "We need to come up with a plan to rescue her. She might not-"

"She's pregnant." I choke out.

"What?" Came the voices of Susan's three siblings.

"She's pregnant. We only just found out the night before we'd left. We stayed up half the night thinking of names. Hector or Juliet... We were going to wait to tell everyone until after we'd gotten back." I finished, wiping the tears from my eyes and beginning to formulate a plan in my head.


	11. Chapter 11

It had been four and a half, almost five months since Susan had been captured. My little sister had been in the hands of the elusive White Witch for nineteen and a half weeks, if she was even still alive that is. We had all of Narnia scouring the world for her, but it was as if the White Witch had taken Susan and disappeared into some other world. Which might not be that far of a stretch...

Caspian, Edmund, Lucy, and I were gathered in the throne room, decorated for Christmas yet none of us noticing. We were trying to formulate another plan after our last had failed so miserably. I'd never seen Caspian looking so lost; I could only imagine how hard this must be on him. Not only was it his soul mate that was missing, but their unborn child as well. By now, Susan would be nearing her seventh month, if what the doctor said were true.

"Your Highnesses!" We were broken from our thoughts as a guard brought in a dwarf carrying a box and a letter. "He says he has something for King Caspian from the White Witch."

Caspian motioned him forward.

"I'm so sorry you grace! The White Witch captured me, forced me to bring this to you. She wouldn't tell me what it is, but I could hear Queen Susan's screaming and pleading... They were on the move, heading West sire. I don't know anymore." He cried as he handed the parcel over to Caspian.

Caspian motioned us all to come over and read the letter with him.

_Dear Caspian,_

_Let me first say what a pleasure it has been having the High Queen in my presence for such a long time. Her strength astounds me, no others have lasted this long under my, shall we say punishments._

_However, I have grown bored with her, and I feel you are in need of a few gifts. The first you may have today, on this lovely Christmas Eve. It was so much fun extracting your gift, I do hope you enjoy it. Your next gift shall arrive sometime tomorrow morning._

_Queen Jadis, the White Witch_

I chose to look to Caspian's face, rather than the parcel, dreading what would be inside. Caspian handed the letter to Lucy as he focused on the box in front of him. He slowly untied the ribbon, allowing it to fall to the ground before he took a deep breath. His face looked scared, and I wasn't sure I wanted to see the contents of the box. Suddenly, his face turned ashen, and he shoved the partially opened box away from himself and to my arms as he turned and heaved out the meager lunch he'd eaten not thirty minutes ago.

Edmund, curious, came over to me, and together we lifted the lid off and peered down into the box that had Caspian so stricken. The box fell to the floor as we too saw what the White Witch so _graciously_ given. Lucy went to retrieve it, but I held her back.

"No Luce." Edmund spoke. "You don't want to see it."

"My baby girl!" Caspian cried out in anguish. "Juliet... my baby girl." He cried, as Edmund, Lucy, and I joined him in tears on the floor. Extracted. I thought, good lord. She must have... Oh god, poor Susan... if Susan was even still. No! I can't think that. Of course she's still alive. She's strong, the White Witch said so herself. But then, she'd also said she was growing bored.

An hour later, I stood, calling a servant in as I did so. I ordered him to take the body of my niece and ready her for burial. It's Christmas, we shouldn't be burying Juliet, but rather awaiting her arrival whilst Susan glowed by the fire...

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I was sitting alone in my room, the day's events having taken quite their toll on me. I could only imagine how terrible it must have been for Caspian.

It was Christmas Eve, and we'd just finished burring my niece... A baby girl that never had the chance to live. The ceremony was short and small, only Caspian, Peter, Lucy, the minister, and I were in attendance. Peter, Lucy, and I all headed back to the castle, but Caspian refused to leave. A parent should never have to burry his child.

Finally, I laid back and attempted to get some rest.

My sleep was restless, and I finally gave up on any attempt at sleep when the clock struck six. I went through my morning routine slowly, and by the time I was finished, it was the time I would normally be finished.

I walked out my room and onto the dining hall, where Peter, Lucy, Caspian, and I had all decided to meet in the morning to further our discussion and plans.

Upon entering, I found I was the first to arrive, so I sat at my normal seat, and began to eat breakfast. A few minutes in, Peter arrived, followed by Lucy, and we all sat and ate together in silence. Nearly ten minutes later, Caspian walked in, looking worse for the wear. His stance was slumped; his eyes bloodshot with bags, and his skin a bit lighter. He sat down next to Peter across from me, and placed food on his plate that he only pushed around.

Not knowing what to say, the three of us remained silent, and together the four of us silently mourned.

"Did you just see that?" Lucy questioned us. "What is that?" She asked, standing from her seat and making her way over to the outrageously large Christmas tree. "It just appeared." She said, pulling at a large wooden box. "To King Caspian." She spoke, reading from words etched into the lid of the box.

The three of us made our way over, and Peter and I glanced nervously at Caspian. What could this be? If the first _gift_ was his child, what could this one possibly be? The box is huge, nearly five and a half feet...

Suddenly, realization dawns upon me, and I can't help myself as I fall to the floor, fresh tears already streaming down my face. Lucy runs to me, obviously confused. How can she not understand what is in the box? I can't look, maybe, if I don't look, it won't be real.

My hopes are shattered as the most gut-wrenching sob escapes my brother-in-law, and I know for sure.

"Susan!" He cries, and Lucy and I stand to join Peter as together the three of us watch as Caspian pulls the lifeless body of my older sister from the wooden crate she had been dumped into. "No, Susan. Wake up. Wake up Susan, please wake up." He pleads desperately. Lucy rushes to give her healing potion, but Susan does not wake. "I can't loose you too." Caspian whispers into her hair as he cradles her battered body in his lap, her head against his chest.


	12. Chapter 12

"Ahh... Good, you're finally awake." The cold, sadistic voice of the White Witch spoke as I slowly opened my eyes. I had no idea of just how long I'd been here, but if my protruding stomach was any indication, I'd been here quite some time. I couldn't move anything, it hurt so badly.

"I was getting so bored, you've been unconcious for the past week. Now that you're good and rested, I believe it's time to play." She said as she pulled me from the floor of my freezing cell.

For what felt like ages she dragged me painfully along behind her before we came to a stop in a steril looking room. She ordered two men to place me on the table, and they did so without a fight from me. I could barely move my own head, let alone fight for my life. It was a miracle the baby was still alive, all the torture I'd gone through.

"I've been trying to think of a good Christmas prestent for our dear King Caspian, it is tomorrow, you know." She began, I quickly calculated the time, Christmas is tomorrow, that ment today is the twenty-fourth. If I was taken in August, that must mean I've been gone for nearly five months, which means that I'm seven months pregnant.

"I was thinking so hard on what to get him, when suddenly, it came to me." She said, loving the confused look portrayed clear across my face. "Why don't I give him you're child." She whispered into my ear, my eyes growing wide as I tried my hardest to move my limp body, protect my baby. But I couldn't move a single limb, and rolling my head to the side, I found why. My arms were tied down, multiple leather straps binding both my arms and my legs so that even if I could move through the pain, it would not be possible.

"NO!" I screamed out. "NO Please! Anything, anything but this. Please." I beg, tears coursing down my cheeks. She pays me no heed as she rips the cloth from my body, exposing all of me to her sick devices.

She reaches to the side, and when I see her hand again, she's holding a large butcher knife.

"NO!" I sob out as she inspects the knife, and then begins to lower it. "Please NO!" I cry as the sharp blade sliced into my lower abdomen.

She stops, and comes to stare me in the eyes.

"Do you have any last words, Queen Susan?" She questioned me.

"Go fuck yourself." I said as I gathered what little spit in my dry mouth I had and hocked it into her eyes. Anger flashes across her face as she wipes away my spit and moves back to her previous position.

She plunges the knife deeply within my womb, and I cry out in agony, the pain so unbearable I can't believe I'm still conscious.

Through the haze of pain, I feel her hands push apart my skin where she made the gouge. I glance down, and can see a small head being pulled roughly from within me as an even worse pain courses through my body and I succumb to the welcomed darkness.

Pain, was the first thing I could register as I slowly came to. Suddenly remembering what had happened, I prayed it was only a nightmare as I swiftly brought my hand to my belly. Only, I couldn't move my hand. I couldn't move anything. I couldn't even open my eyes.

"How terribly sad this will be for our dear King Caspian." The Witch's voice came from somewhere above me. "His child, and now his wife. Both dead by my hands. Only, the poetic part about all of this, is that once he sees you, you'll still be alive. You will still be alive, but the potion I have given you would make even the best doctors proclaim you dead. A potion that not even your dear sister's cordial can cure." She laughed.

"You will be alive, and alert for all that will transpire. However, no one will know, for by the time the paralyizers wear off, your dear Caspian will have already burried you, alive. All my brilliant plans, and you're not even conscious to hear them. Oh well. Sweet dreams Queen Susan, they will be your last." She said as the sound of a lid slamming above me echoed throughout my ears.

Where am I? When will I be able to move? Come on Susan, move dammit!

"What is that?" I heard the voice of my little sister Lucy.

"Lucy!" I tried to call out, but once again, I couldn't. I hear the lid being pried of, and a sob I recognize as Caspian's resounds.

"Susan!" I hear him cry in anguish as I feel my body being lifted and placed into his lap.

"Caspian!" I try again, but once more, nothing, not even a flutter of a breath to indicate my life. He's rocking us, and I can't help but love the feeling of being against his chest once more. I can hear his heart, why can't someone hear mine?

"No, Susan. Wake up." He cries to me. Yes Susan, wake up! I scream at myself. For the love of God, wake up! Move something, twitch, exhale, anything! "Wake up Susan, please wake up." He pleaded desperately.

"I'm trying!" I scream pointlessly within my mind, my body frustratingly not responding. Damnit! Wake Up!

"I can't loose you too." He whispered as he kissed the top of my head. I'm not dead! I'm not dead! I scream inside myself, hysterically crying. I feel something wet against my check. I'm crying! I'm crying! Caspian, look at my face, I'm crying! Dead people don't cry! Come on, Caspian! Please! I scream within my mind, but it draws no attention to my heartbroken lover.

"No!" Caspian screams as I feel hands prying me away. NO! I echo his voice within my mind. If they take me, Caspian won't realize I'm alive. No! Don't take me, please don't take me! But it's no use, my body remains limp and unresponsive as they take me away from my love.

DAMMIT! DAMMIT SUSAN WAKE UP!

It's freezing! Where am I now? It's so cold and hard, where's Caspian, why can't I wake up! Please, God, let me wake up. Aslan! Aslan I need you! Help me Aslan, please, please help me!

Hands are poking and proding me, 'I'm alive here!' I try again, once more fruitlessly. A warm, velvety cloth surronds my body and I am no longer freezing. I am being lifted, and placed on an extremely soft bed. It's so comfortable. I think, before my quick comfort is replaced with horror as I realize just what it is I'm laying in. My coffin. NO! I cry out as the lid is shut. The box I'm lying in is lifted, and it's a terribly uncomfortable ride, as I slide with the shifting of movements to hit one side or the other.

My coffin is placed down, and I feel a cool breeze hit my face and realize that it must be opened.

"Queen Susan was a wonderful person." I heard a voice begin. Not was! I still am! Come on, look at me, I'm not dead! No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I chant over and over again, drowning out the preacher's voice.

"Goodbye my love." I hear the voice of Caspian whisper above me, as I feel his wonderful lips upon my own, pressing hard in a desperate attempt to wake me.

Kiss back! My mind screams, and I do, but only just. Caspian pulls away.

"Susan?" He whispers, answer him you idiot! Respond dammit! "I miss you..." He says.

I feel a pair of unfamilliar lips kiss my forehead, and I wonder who it is.

"I'm so sorry little sis. I failed you... I hope you can forgive me. Goodbye Susan."

A hand touches my cheek, and I hear the voice of my little brother.

"It won't be the same without you. We'll avenge you, Su, I'll kill her myself. And if not by me, then by Peter or Caspian. She won't live to see the new year." He vowed. Edmund, please. I'm not dead!

"Susan." I hear the small voice of my baby sister. "Susan I, back when we were little, I think I was five, almost six and you were nine, remember when mother blamed you for the broken car mirror? That was me. I'm so sorry, I just didn't want to get punished, and you were the first that came to mind. I'm so sorry that I got you grounded for the whole summer. You were the bestest older sister I could ever ask for..."

Lucy, Lucy please. I'm not dead! Realize that and I won't even be mad at you about that thing all those years ago! Please!

"Goodbye Su." And the casket's lid was shut.

"No." I choke out hoarsly as the casket begins to lower. I can move my hands. "NO!" I cry out as I hear a resounding thud of dirt hitting the top of my coffin. I begin to hit at the top of the casket, pounding and begging for someone to hear me. "Please!" I cry out, tears streaming down my face. I begin to claw at the cloth material, my nails ripping through easily and soon finding wood that I begin to tear into. "HELP! CASPIAN!"


	13. Chapter 13

I stand to the side, watching my Susan's siblings say their goodbyes. I watch, tears' blurring my vision as the casket's lid is closed over my wife's porcelain face, a face that will never again see the light of day. I think as I collapse to my knees and allow the tears to once more flow freely.

I'm left alone at her grave, everyone else has begun to head back to the castle for the wake. I'm all alone, except for the caretaker who is slowly shoveling dirt, burying my beloved.

"No!" A strangled voice reaches my ears. What was that? Susan? I'm going insane.

"Help!" The voice calls, this time louder. The caretaker and I share a confused glance and with one word, my heart begins to hope.

"Caspian!" With that, I jump into the grave, pushing away the dirt and tearing the lid off.

"SUSAN!" I cry, lifting her hysterical form from the confines of her grave. I lift her up to the caretaker who places her on the ground as he reaches to give me a hand up. "Susan." I whisper, pulling her body close to mine as I feel her body trembling. "I'm here."

"Caspian..." She whispers softly. "I was so afraid." She cries to me, as I hug her tighter, thanking God and Aslan that she is alive.

"I'm never letting you go again." I whispered into her hair as I cradled her body to mine.

"Will she be alright?" Peter questioned the doctor the moment he stepped outside of the room.

"Physically, she will be, for the most part, fine. Her body was injected with a large dose of petrifical nerve. It is a miracle she was able to call out when she did.

For a while, it may be hard for her to move, but only when she awakens will we know just how long it will take for her to regain her motor skills. They may come back instantaneously, or she may have to relearn everything. Apart from that, she is physically fine.

However, it is her mental stability that concerns me the most. High Queen Susan's body shows signs of extreme torture and abuse, according to my tests, there was hardly a day she didn't go without torture. Some are able to come back from such extremes, but not many. Past a certain point, one retreats into their minds in an attempt to protect themselves. I fear Queen Susan's retreat began early on, and with the extended torture, the forcible removal of her child, and being buried alive, I fear she may never come back to us."

I forced my way past him, into the room where my Susan lay sleeping. I couldn't believe that she might be insane. It couldn't happen, not to my Susan.

There she was, breathing soundly, midnight hair splayed across the pillow, with her face relaxed in a calm expression. I strode to the bed, and lay down next to her.

"Susan." I whisper, placing my face next to hers. "You have to come back to us."

"Caspian? Where am I? What's going on?"

"Doctor!" I called. "Doctor, she's awake!" The doctor came rushing into the room, pulling out a light and flashing it into her eyes as he began to ask her random questions.

"What month is this?"

"December. The twenty-seventh, 1253." I could see the annoyance written plainly across her face.

"Good, good. Can you tell me who the most recent King of Narnia is?"

"My husband you idiot. He's standing right behind you. Listen, I'm tired, I remember everything before my lovely _vacation_ with the White Witch, and I even remember what happened during that time with the White Witch. I have not gone insane as you can very well tell, now leave me Alone!" She finished, screaming and pushing him away from her. "Leave! Just leave! I don't want you here!" She cried, flinging herself onto the bed once more.

The doctor did as told; hurriedly leaving the room in fear of Susan's seldom used yet extremely scary temper.

"Susan." I say, as I sit down on the bed beside her, my hand rubbing circles upon her back.

"Caspian!" She cried, abandoning the pillow she'd been clutching, and clinging to my chest instead. "Oh god, Caspian. Forgive me! Please, please forgive me. I'm so sorry... I tried, I tried. Please forgive me!"

"Forgive you for what?" I ask, confusion marring my face.

"It's my fault!" She sobbed. "All my fault. If I hadn't gone out that day, none of this would have happened. If I'd only have taken my bow and arrows, or any form of protection! It's my fault our baby is dead! I don't know how you can even look at me!" She cried, turning away from me, and going to the balcony.

"Susan, no. It's not your fault." I whisper, coming over to her and embracing her from behind. "It's not your fault, it's that sadistic bitch's fault, and she is going to pay. I promise you Susan, she will pay." She turned and buried her face in the crook of my neck, and I held her until her crying finally subsided.

The next morning, I awoke to find Susan putting on her practice gear, her face set with determination.

"I'm going to practice." She said as she slung her bow and arrows over her shoulder. "You can come if you want." She said as she glanced back at me to see what my answer would be. Rather than answering her, I simply stood, and began to dress. She waited patiently for me, and soon we were heading for the archery fields.

We'd been there a few hours when it happened.

"King Caspian! Queen Susan! Kings Peter and Edmund and Queen Lucy request your presence in the meeting room!" A servant called to us. We nodded to each other, quickly gathered our things, and silently made our way to the meeting room.

"The White Witch is on the move. We must attack and take her down while we have the chance." Peter began.

"I agree. If they are moving their camp, they will not be fully prepared for a battle." I said, praying that the other three would see it the way Peter and I did. My eyes unconsciously seeked out my wife's, and I could see that she agreed with me.

"I think we are more than ready to face her. Is this not what we've been preparing for the moment we returned?" Edmund asked, glancing at Susan, his eyes portraying the guilt he felt at leaving her here, all those months ago.

"Call the army." Susan began. "We will attack at dawn." She said, standing from her seat and leaving the room.

"The White Witch is on the move." Peter spoke as Peter, Edmund, and I addressed the army nearly three hours later. "Our world is in danger once more. We can choose to stay here, and pretend like there is nothing going on. We can let this escalate like it once did, or, my friends, we can fight. We stand a chance while she is still weak. I beg you, do not let her gain the power she once had. Fight with me!" He cried, as all the warriors cheered for their Kings. "Are you with us?"

Several cries of yes and other variations in the affirmative were given, and I couldn't help the sense of pride in my country that welled up inside.

"Ready yourselves for battle, we shall leave in an hour. It's a two hour's ride, we will set up camp and rest for the night, and at dawn we will attack." I finished Peter's thoughts. The army began to ready themselves, Peter, Edmund, and I went to our rooms to retrieve our amour.

"We're leaving." I said, the moment I entered our room.

"I figured as much, setting up camp to rest before the battle tomorrow morning?" She questioned me, beginning to ready herself for the trip.

"Yes." I said, as I began to gather my things as well. Susan was done before me, and she waited patiently as I finished placing my last piece of amour into my pack. Together, the two of us left our rooms, hand in hand battle supplies slung over our shoulders, as we headed to the stables.

"I figured since Susan will be primarily a part of the archery team, the two of you should share a horse." Peter said to us the moment we found him.

"Sure." Susan spoke quickly. "Where's Desmenda?" She questioned. I led her over to where my trusty steed stood, already saddled. I took her pack and began to stow our things away in the saddlebags.

Once that was finished, we stood to the side as to allow Peter to tell everyone the battle tactic we'd agreed upon. The next hour was spent going over who would go where, discussing the signals, and making sure that everyone understood exactly what it was we had planned.

"Alright, everyone. Let's head out." Peter's commanding voice called out, alerting us that it was time to head out. I mounted Desmenda, and once I was settled, I held out my hand and helped my wife up behind me.

As we made our way towards camp, I enjoyed the feel of her holding onto me; desperately trying to keep away the thoughts on how this could be our last night together.

"Caspian?" She whispered into my ear, as she tightened her arms around my waist and placed her chin on my shoulder.

"Yes?"

"What if this is our last night together? What if one of us dies?" She questions, dread evident in her voice.

"No, this won't be our last night. I won't let this be our last night." I said.

"I know we came here tonight so that the army could rest before battle, but I don't want to sleep tonight."

Once we arrived where we were to set up camp, Peter, Edmund, and I began to set up the royal tents while Susan took a few others to find firewood.

After we'd finished setting up the two tents, the three of us separated and went to help others with their accommodations. Nearly an hour later, I stood to address the army once more.

"Narnians, tomorrow, we fight." I began, looking to Susan for strength, and finding more than I needed. "We fight to keep our lands, homes, and families safe from a cruel tyrant. One that has had far too much time within our land as it is. Now, I bid you goodnight, in hopes that tomorrow, we shall vanquish the White Witch once and forever!" I finished, too much approval from my fellow countrymen and creatures.

The moment I walked into our tent, there she was, waiting for me. I silently buttoned the flap to the tent before making my way over to her, words no longer needed between us. Not now, not this night. Our gazes conveyed everything we needed.

My lips met hers in a searing kiss, which, I realized, was the first in nearly five months. How I'd missed holding her, how good she felt within my arms, I never wanted to let this euphoric feeling go. Never wanted to let her go.

Her hands tugged at the offending fabric keeping us apart, and we furiously shed each other's clothing. It felt so right, to be here with her, like this, comforting each other in the calm before the storm.

Our bodies moved together as one, with practiced ease that can only be between a man and wife. Our bodies merged as one as our very souls rejoiced.

"You're trembling." She whispered, taking my hand in hers and kissing each finger.

"Don't worry, I'll be alright." I breathed. She guided my head down onto her chest, and I smiled at the steady rhythm of her beating heart. "I can here you're heart beating." I whispered, as I allowed the steady drumming of her heart and the relaxing feeling of her fingers running through my hair to lull me to sleep.


	14. Chapter 14

_The first thing I noticed when I came too was the looming form of the White Witch._

_The second was the sinister smirk gracing her satanic face._

_The third, and probably the most important, was that I was alone with her in a room replete with various torture devices._

"_Queen Susan, how good of you to join me." She began, striding towards where I lay. "Please, sit." She said motioning to a chair while she herself sat down upon one I hadn't noticed before._

"_Queen Susan, I have a proposition for you."_

"_And what might that be?"_

"_I wish you to join me." She whispered into my ear. "Join me, together we could be great. We could rule the world, Aslan himself couldn't stop us." She said, the proposal sounding so seductively delicious. I took a moment to consider, having a good clue as to what might happen should I refuse her, given the current state of the room we're in. I smiled, and I could see the triumph shining through her face._

"_Why would I join you to rule the world, when I already do?" I questioned smugly. Her face went from triumphant gloating to seething anger within an instant, and I knew I was right in refusing her offer._

"_Well then, we'll just have to fix that, won't we?" She asked, as she snapped her fingers. Suddenly, I was dumped from the chair and chained to the wall so quickly my head spun. "Let's see what you have to say after this." She said, pulling out a wooden hand trap._

_I time it perfectly within my mind, and as soon as she's within striking distance, I threw out my leg and delivered the most powerful kick I'd ever given, straight to her stomach._

_Rage filled her face as she discarded the hand trap and picked up a whip. The sight of her face filled me with terror, not for myself, but for my unborn child. Pain erupted from my chest as the whip hit there first, my voice calling out as yet another lash came._

"Susan! Susan, wake up!" Caspian cried as I opened my eyes and attempted to shield myself away from the next blow. However, I soon came to my senses, Caspian's worried face inches from mine. "Susan?" He asked as I latched myself onto him.

"Silly nightmare." I mumbled against his chest.

"Tell me about it." He said, and even though I didn't want too, I found myself telling him every detail of my relived memory.

As I finished telling him about the dream, I glanced up into his face. I was surprised when I didn't see the pity in his eyes, as I thought I would, but rather, a loving gaze marred by his anger towards the White Witch.

Glancing at the time, I realized dawn was fast approaching. "It's time to get up." I said, standing from the bed not bothering to hide my naked form. Together, Caspian and I dressed for battle. I helped him with his difficult ties and he helped me with my chain mail.

"Susan." Caspian began as I finished putting the last piece of protective amour on. "I know you know how to handle yourself, better than I most times." I smiled at that. "But please, promise me you'll stay safe. Don't throw yourself in front of someone to save them, even if it's me." He pleaded. "If I could keep you from this, I would. But I know that you can protect yourself, and I also know this battle is just as much your fight as it is mine, if not more so... I love you Susan, and I can't loose you again." He finished, pulling me to him for a desperate kiss, which I hungrily returned.

"I'll do my best not to die." I said, in all seriousness, but at the same time attempting to bring a smile to his face.

"It's not funny." He said.

"I know it's not. I love you Caspian the Tenth of Telmar. Don't you dare die on me." I ordered him, as I leaned against his chest, my arms still wrapped around his neck and his still around my waist. "Besides, you think it's this easy to get rid of me? Have a battle and I'll be done with?" He attempted a chuckle, and I smiled warmly at him. "I know that we'll be fine." I spoke, a sudden confidence I hadn't felt last night shining through. "I know that the White Witch will be destroyed, never to be heard from again. And once she's gone, we can go back to the way things were. And we'll fix all of Narnia's problems and make the world perfect for our children."

"How do you know all of this Susan? The next minute isn't guaranteed to any of us."

"I know, because we both have far to much to live for." I said as I leaned up and captured his lips in a passionate kiss, a kiss that spoke of what would come, after all of this was over. A kiss to live for...

"You are what I fight for," His warm breath whispered against the skin of my neck as we stood in our tent, embracing tightly. "What I live for." He finished, kissing the sensitive spot his whispers had only just vacated.

""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

The battle was full force, we'd been fighting all day, and night was fast approaching. While we did surprise the White Witch, her numbers were large and they soon fought back with an eased practice that one would think they had been prepared for.

I searched desperately for my wife, fighting off men and creatures as they came, and finally, I found her. She was fighting neck and neck with a Fury. I jumped to help her, and together we took down the Fury.

"I was right!" She called to me, as we were both soon engaged in yet another fight. Confusion marred my face, along with a quick forming bruise as my distraction allowed for the man I was fighting to land a strike to my face.

"What?" I called back, retaliating and soon gaining the upper hand.

"Last night wasn't our last night!" She called out smugly; as she finished off the man she had been fighting before coming over and helping me.

"Does this mean I have to keep you around?" I joked as together we went on to yet another Minotaur.

"I guess so." She answered me, as she dodged a swing from the Minotaur's blade.

"Good." I said as I lifted my sword above my head and brought it down on the Minotaur's skull while it was distracted with Susan. "We work best together." I said as the creature fell to the ground and I grabbed Susan by the waist for a quick kiss.

"Caspian!" She screamed, alerting me just in time for the incoming swing of a sword. I rolled the both of us out of the way, and then I turned to fight the man who'd just interrupted our kiss, Susan turning to an advancing creature. This man's skill was astounding. I felt like I'd been at it for ages, before he slipped upon the blood-drenched ground, and fell at my feet. I knocked him unconscious, before moving on and looking for Susan. Just as I'd spotted her, a blow to my shoulder took over my attention, and soon I was fighting with the first Empusae I'd ever encountered.

I had been fighting this creature for nearly thirty minutes. I was tired, and loosing to the Empusae. Just when I'd nearly given up, it's teeth against my throat, when someone came along behind it and decapitated the creature.

"Thanks."

"Don't mention it." High King Peter said.

"Where's Susan?" I asked.

"I don't -" Peter began, but was interrupted -as was the whole battle- by a sinister laugh. All eyes, both good and evil alike, turned to the sound.

"Do you honestly think you could defeat me? You couldn't even come close during the last battle, King Edmund." The White Witch laughed. Edmund was lying on the ground, his sword lying just out of his reach. The White Witch raised her spear, ready to strike. I shut my eyes, not wanting to see the death of my friend and brother-in-law. "I can't, but we can." I heard Edmund's voice call.

"This!" A loud, demanding voice called, as my eyes shot open only to see Susan standing, sword clenched in both hands, and stabbing through the White Witch's stomach. At the same time Edmund thrust his sword into the witch's chest. "This is for my siblings!" She said, plunging the sword deeper.

"This, this is for my baby!" She cried, as she twisted the sword and pulled upward. "And this!" She went on, pulling the sword from the witch's stomach, "This is for me!" She finished, swinging the sword swiftly and severing the witch's head. The moment the White Witch died, along with her went all of the satanic creatures, leaving a small amount of opposition.

A moment of silence, and then a deafeningly loud roar. We had won, and our few opposers could do nothing but remain in shock. It was quick work, rounding up those few that had survived, barely twenty Telmarainian men.

"Are you alright?" I questioned my wife, coming up behind her and placing my hand upon her shoulder. As she gazed off into an unseen distance, she lifted her hand to hold mine.

"I think so... I know I'm not perfectly fine, but I think I'm getting there." She answered me, keeping her hand in mine and turning to embrace me.


	15. Chapter 15

My world was dark I could see nothing. I was sitting upon cool grass, the gentle breeze caressing my face giving relief from the surprisingly warm September sun. It was peaceful, and I relished in the tranquility as I reclined upon my husband's broad chest. Today there were no treaties to sign, no foreign dignitaries to entertain, no problems to solve. Today was a day where my family and I were just another family.

We weren't royalty; no one could call upon us as the Kings and Queens of Narnia. We were just us, and as I reclined, I allowed myself to enjoy one of the first peaceful moment's I'd had in quite some time.

"Mommy, Mommy! Aunt Lucy! Watch this you guys!" A young, energetic voice called. My eyes slowly opened, quickly finding the source of the voice. A small child, nearly five, was standing upon a rock, the crystal turquoise water nearly ten feet below. The moment he saw my eyes gazing upon him, he jumped.

One, two, three, three and three quarters. I counted as the child hit the water.

"How many?" The small child asked.

"Nearly four Will!" My sister voiced, diving in after him.

"Thank you." A soft voice whispered into my ear, the same chills rushing up my spine as they once did the moment I'd met him, nearly seven years ago.

"For what?" I questioned, as I turned my face to his.

"For giving me everything I've ever wanted." He said, as he leaned his head towards mine and captured my lips in a quick kiss. I settled back into his chest, my head resting in the crook of his neck, and I brought our hands together, entwining my fingers with his. "I can't think of anything else I'd want."

"Nothing else?" I questioned.

"Nothing else."

"Well, I don't think I can really stop this next thing." I began, information I'd learned a month and a half ago begging to be released from my lips. I brought our conjoined hands down to my stomach as I turned my head once more towards his, my eyes meeting his meaningly.

"You mean?" He asked, hope evident within his voice.

"I was thinking maybe Alexis." I said, as his face lit up and he pulled me into a hug.

"A baby?"

"A baby. I'm about three months along. The doctor says I'm due in the middle of March, around the fourteenth, I think."

"What if it's a boy?"

"Do you really think you'll have two sons in a row?" I teased him.

"I don't care," He spoke softly, resting his palm over my not yet convexing stomach. "I don't care if it's a boy or a girl..." He finished, pulling me to him for a passionate kiss.

"Eww!" A voice called, breaking us from each other, as we looked to our son, wading in a shallow part of the pool, his small index finger pointing to us. "Mommy and Daddy are being gross!"

"That's right William. They are being gross. They should never do that, especially in front of us." Peter said, looking mockingly at us.

"Well. We do have a good reason." I spoke, casually looking at my fingers, inspecting each nail carefully. I chanced a glance at my siblings and son. Each of them had an equally confused look upon their faces.

"Will, come here." Caspian spoke from behind me. The small boy did as told, confusion still marring his adorable face. Once he got to us, Caspian motioned for him to sit down. "How do you feel," Caspian began, loud enough for everyone to hear, "about having a younger brother or sister?"

"That would be great! Is it here yet? Can I play with it?" He asked, excitement shining through his sapphire eyes.

"William, the baby won't be here for another six months." I said.

"Six months, but that's forever!" He whined dramatically.

"I know, but those six months will go by so quickly, you won't know where your time as an only child went." I told him, pulling his soaking form to my lap.

"Can I help?" He asked, looking up hopefully into our faces.

"Of course you can. You'll want to be the best big brother you can be, don't you?" Caspian spoke, as our son roughly nodded his head, trying his hardest to look mature enough.

"You know, your Uncle Peter has three younger siblings."

"Three!"

"Three." Caspian affirmed, the both of us smiling at his wonderment.

"And you're one of them, right Mommy?"

"That's right. Uncle Ed's also a big brother." I said.

"Thanks Su." Edmund jokingly mumbled. William's eyes lit up, an idea evidently making it's way through the mechanics of his mind.

"Uncle Peter, Uncle Edmund, can you teach me how to be a big brother?" He pleaded, going over to them.

"Of course we can." Edmund began.

"The first thing you have to know about being a big brother," Peter began, as William stood, listening intently to his every word, "is how to make him or her laugh hysterically." He finished, striding over to me and plucking me from Caspian's arms.

"Peter!" I shrieked at being slung over his shoulder, pretending to be mad, but fighting a loosing battle as he spun around in circles. "I can't breathe!" I choked through strangled gasps of air laughing so hard I could barely think. Peter set me on my feet, however the two of us continued to spin madly, our hands interlocked one above the other as the world blurred around us. Laughter echoing around the clearing not only from Peter and I, but also from the four spectators. Our hands were slipping, and before I knew it, our hands were no longer hooked together and I went spinning to the ground, all the while laughing madly.

My son came and lay down next to me, placing his head upon my shoulder as I wrapped my arms around him in a tight embrace.

"Come on son." Caspian called, removing his shirt as he jumped into the water, William following close behind. As I sat there, gazing at my family, I began to reflect.

The nightmares that were once so frequent I could hardly close my eyes were now nothing but a distant memory, a dream of a nightmare that I'd not had in quite some time. Occasionally, my thoughts would drift back to the horror of those awful months, but as I'd said all those years ago, both to my brother and my husband, I'm getting there.


End file.
